The Diagnosis

The doctor called this morning and asked if we could come in to discuss the diagnosis. I was really nervous about this one. I was far calmer going into each of the biopsies a few days ago, than I was going into this appointment. I don't know why though. It was really hot in the doctors office and in the exam room and that made waiting for his report even harder. He finally came in and reported that my disease is Stage 3 Hodgkins Lymphoma. I get to start chemotherapy on Monday and will continue to receive treatments about every 15 days for six months. After that I will receive radiation for 5 weeks. And then hopefully I will be cured.

I am more confident than ever that 6-8 months from now I will be alive and cancer free, but I am also more nervous than ever about the long term effects of chemotherapy and radiation. I am finding it hard to believe that such powerful chemicals can be routinely pumped through my body and not leave some kind of negative long term effect. The doctor has been re-assuring me that I am young, healthy, don't smoke and don't have any other issues that would make long term problems a probability. But I am still really nervous about it because I feel like I have no choice in the matter. I feel like my options are - take whatever this treatment dishes out with a smile - or die.

The doctor called again later to ask if I can come into the hospital tomorrow and have my port installed. I told them I wanted to put it off until next week. The two biopsy scars are both feeling a lot better and I am just hoping to feel normal tomorrow.

I do feel good that my doctor studied and did his residency at the National Cancer Institute. Makes me feel like I can trust his knowledge.